Always a Booklover

The magic of books just enchants me. I love reading, what more can I say?

Blog Tour: Epsilon AR by Zackery Humphreys


Epsilon AR
by Zackery Humphreys

Book
Description:

Hundreds
of years into the future, mankind has gone under ground to relocate
to the beautiful city of Epsilon. Epsilon is run by a strong,
secretive government that keeps its citizens in check by subtle
manipulation and strict schedules. No one questions its authority and
no one is unhappy. ALN-896, an average man who is just trying to
live a normal life, begins to have dreams; something strange and rare
in Epsilon. In his dreams, he meets a man named Harry and everything
is fine- until Harry dies. When ALN-896 wakes up, he shrugs it off as
if nothing has happened. It was only a dream. But then the next day,
he is suddenly arrested and sent to prison for killing Harry, whom
ALN-896 assumed was just a figment of his imagination. Now
inside prison, ALN-896 begins to learn about everything the
government of Epsilon has been doing and he plans on escaping. Not
only from prison, but from Epsilon. This one decision turns him
against everything he has ever known and forces him to face against
centuries of lies. To escape means to live. But what will it cost?





About The Author:

Zackery
Alexander Humphreys is a Novelist, Actor and Poet who occasionally
dabbles in Screen Writing and Play Writing.










Excerpt:

A
black-and-white tie...
----


Thoughts froze within
his mind. Spit bubbled through his pursed lips.



ALN-896 finally
managed to pull away from the exposed wire. He fell to the ground and
wiped away the spit dribbling down his cheek. His heart raced, and
sweat poured down his body.



That was the most
painful sensation he had ever experienced.



I never should have
grabbed that wire...



ALN-896 stood up
slowly and looked around. No one saw what had just happened. He was
alone on the desolate stretch of Simov Street.



Fortunately, I did
not get hurt.



Instead of continuing,
he decided to get back into his car and let a nice cup of tea calm
him.



From the center
console of the car, green tea was automatically dispensed into a cup.
He let the liquid slide down his throat, easing every muscle that had
tensed. He melted into his plush seat as he let his mind come to a
halt. Then the silence was interrupted by a robotic voice. “ALN-
896, your vitals are irregular. Is everything all right?”



“Everything is fine.
I went to inspect one of the house's trashcans as I was instructed
to, but I noticed an exposed wire on the ground. I went to cover it
back up when it...”



ALN-896 wasn't quite
sure
what had actually
happened when he touched the wire. He hadn’t been electrocuted, but
something strange had occurred. The only thing he could get out of
the experience was that he had seen a black-and-white tie floating in
the darkness behind his closed eyelids. Nothing surrounded it, but he
knew it had been attached to a body. One he hadn’t been able see,
but one he knew existed somewhere within the black.



Irrelevant.


“When it...,”
ALN-896 stumbled. “When it shocked me,” he lied.



“Your job still
needs to be completed. You still need to inspect the trashcans for
Monday's workday. After your tea, you need to continue.”



“Yes, I understand.”




--------------------

And now, let's invite Zackery to the blog for a short post!

Authors That Have Inspired Me

            In life, we typically learn how to do something from those that come before us. For example, if you want to learn how to drive, we either have our parents, friends, or some random stranger teach us the difference between the gas and brake pedals so we don't plow into the side of buildings when we want to stop at a stop sign. If we want to learn how to snowboard we can either learn on our own or ask for help from the local ski resort guide, the former of which might include far more bruises, the latter of which may include awkward conversations. Regardless, the best solution is to usually learn by example, so when I set out to write my first novel, it took quite a bit of reading to get a good idea of the kind of writing-style I preferred, as well as learn the ins-and-outs of grammar for mainstream literature.
            The first book I read that really inspired me was Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. In fact, more than any other book, this one was the one that really got the gears running. Not only did it fall in the same genre of Science-Fiction but it also tackled some of the same ideas I wanted to include in Epsilon A.R.. Ray Bradbury's beautiful writing spoke to me and I knew from that moment onward that I wanted my novel out of my head and on paper.
            The next book that really inspired me was The Anthem by Ayn Rand. For the same reasons as Fahrenheit 451,” Rand's work really got me thinking about what kind of novel I wantedEpsilon A.R. to be. It also introduced this notion of history within the world that I wanted to include. I didn't just want to focus on one character, I wanted an entire world with its own history. The tone of the piece, as well, spoke volumes (pun intended) to me and lent to some of the darker tones of my novel.
            The last book, or series in this case, that really stretched my imagination was Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Snicket introduced a style of writing I adored, but more so, this sense of conspiracy and lose. I found that I didn't need to spoon feed information to the readers and instead, I could let certain secrets bubble under the surface for a while. Secrets and conspiracy found its way into nearly every corner of the dark room I call Epsilon A.R. and Lemony Snicket is partly to blame for that.
            With all of these, as well as countless other resources pulled from other books, movies, music and history, I found a way to weave a story that I hope does all of these inspirations justice. If it does, we can all say, “Hip-hip-hooray!” and wait for that sequel. If not, you can say, “Boo!” but I'm still going to write the sequel.









Blog Tour: Fall by Cindy Paterson


This book simply looks great. While I have not had the time to get to it, I think I'm going to make time for it, even though I'm preparing for my exams. It just looks that good. Love triangle hmm. 



Fall
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Date of Publication: May 7th 2013

ISBN: 978-0-9917327-1-5

Number of pages: 244 approx.
Word Count: 98,000

Cover Artist: Mark Paterson


“He’s destroying me—us. I need him like my next breath, yet I’m suffocating.”

An unrequited love that has ripped her to pieces.

Delara has loved Waleron for over a century. Their intense chemistry is sensual, gripping, irresistible. But tragedy struck, and after sixty-one years of believing he was dead, Waleron returns a tortured man. He claims the man she loves is dead, yet the undeniable sexual tension still pulls them together.

“I am no longer the man you love, maitagarri. I am incapable of it.”

Waleron has given his oath to protect the Senses. He will sacrifice everything for them. But there is one Senses he has vowed to protect more than any other—Delara. He will do anything to make certain she is safe, even if it means he must deny her the love they once shared.

She is the hunted.

Delara’s life is in jeopardy and Waleron will do anything to protect her. But he never suspected that Xamien, the man he brings to help protect her is way more important to her than he ever knew.

Torn between two men and hunted by another, Delara must fight her hardest battle—herself.


Check it out at Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Smashwords | Goodreads


Cindy Paterson

I am Xamien’s secret lover. Well, in my head I am and since I’m single this is completely allowed. Some of you may ask, who is Xamien, don’t worry you will meet him soon enough, but no falling in love with him. He is all mine.

Writing books is a fantastic way to have adventures that are impossible to have otherwise. I mean do you really want to fall in love with Waleron? He is so unstable and would never pick up after your dogs or clean the litter box. Not to mention the fact that he is always out killing disgusting grave robbing bug people.

Curling up with a good book and losing yourself to another time and place is the greatest reward. Being able to feel a character’s emotions, their fears, pain and love. Now that is incredible. I relish in the books that stay with me long after they have ended. This is what I strive for in my writing. To give the readers, and myself, an escape into another world, my world.

I have been writing since I was twelve. My parents, sorry mom and dad, would send me to my room for an hour every night to do homework, and instead I wrote stories. Oops, guess that is why I did so bad in math.

I have never stopped writing since then and never will. It’s like an addiction, but a good one. I adore stepping into the shoes of a character and deciding their fate. The characters are why I write. I want to fall in love with them (even the bad ones), so that I care about what happens to them in a story. If I can’t care about the characters then why bother with the story.

I live in Toronto with a menagerie of pets that keep me on my toes.



Time for a short excerpt!

Waleron changed gears, and put his hand on top of hers. His thumb rhythmically stroked back and forth across the back of her hand. It was a gesture that she hadn’t anticipated out of Waleron.
She didn’t want to pull away, but knew she had to.
“We need to discuss a couple things, Maitagarri.”
Here we go. Waleron was always one for complete control over every situation and she was certain this situation was more than he’d ever projected having to deal with.
“You will never discuss where I live. Ever.” Fair enough. “A few rooms remain locked. Do not attempt to open them. For any reason.” Okay, so he had more secrets locked away. Figures. “You will not venture outside the premises.” She rolled her eyes. “And despite what I show you tonight, you will not speak of the Lilac. Do you understand me?”
“Pez, I know your narcissistic kaleidoscope of rules.”
“Then you know that I will accept nothing but compliance from you in my house.”
“I can follow a few rules, Pez. I’m a Senses. A warrior. Or have you forgotten that? Because it seems you’ve forgotten a hell of a lot lately. Like that I’m single and can fuck whoever I want and you dragging me away from him won’t stop that.”
“You’re trying to hurt me.”
“Damn right I am.” She had to and she hated it. But if it was the only way to protect him then she’d do it. He couldn’t lose his Taldeburu. She was hoping he’d turn the car around and change his mind after her harsh words. He didn’t.
“How long have you been with Xamien, Delara?”
Damn it, this is not something she wanted to discuss with him. Having him know that she went to Xamien after the bargain with Trinity, the witch-bitch—that she stayed with Xamien to heal from her emotional wounds Waleron cut into her soul. God, her pride would take a beating. He didn’t deserve to know she still was tortured.
“Delara.”
“A while.”
He glanced at her and she recognized the scowl. It meant spit it out cause I’m not letting the issue go. Fine, he wanted the truth, he’d get it. “When you decided to sleep with Trinity, I went to Xamien.”
More silence.



And now, let's welcome Delara, main character of Fall for a short character interview.


Interview
the Senses Tracker Delara
Heroine of “FALL”


I’d like to welcome Delara from Cindy Paterson’s novel FALL to the blog today. FALL is the 3rd book in the Senses series, however it can be read as a standalone. FALL, among other things, is about the love triangle between Delara and two leaders of the Senses. 

“Correct?”
 
Delara sits across from me and pours herself a coffee—black. “A Senses leader is called a Taldeburu. And it is much more than a love triangle as you’re well aware.”

“Yes, of course. Well, thank you Delara for joining us today.”

“My pleasure. When Cindy asked if I would come and answer a few quick questions I was hesitant. She asked that you not mention certain private matters?” I nod. “You understand the Senses have had some really devastating and upsetting few years. We’ve lost some good Senses. Some not so good.”

She wraps both her hands around her coffee and looks down at the liquid. She appears way more exotic than I realized after reading FALL. Small in stature, tough exterior, but I could finally see why two Taldeburu’s wanted this woman—hypnotic. Was it the sweetness in her soft features? Or the hidden mystery in her eyes? “I understand that. Sorry for your losses.”

Delara nods and gives a half smile. It looks like Jedrik took his knife to her hair again.  Jagged strands that are uneven and yet for some reason it suites her.

“So these are quick answer questions. I may ask if you can expand. Cool?”

“Sounds good,” she answers.

I clear my throat. “What turns you on?”

“Grappling.”

“I believe I know why, but perhaps you’d like to expand for our guests today?”

“To a point, sure. Waleron taught me how to grapple when I first joined the Talde—that is a group of Senses. If any of you know Waleron, you can imagine what he’s like when he is trying to teach you something. A brutal, relentless instructor. But my ability has saved my life a number of times, so totally worth it.”

“And it became more than grappling.”  I wink and Delara smiles. “What turns you off?”

She hesitates and I notice her running her hands up and down her thighs. Interesting. No pinching her thighs like she did in the novel. “Disappointment. In myself. Seeing someone you care about and they have this look in their eyes that goes right to the bones. Waleron could do that to me.”

I jump at the chance to integrate the other man in her life. “Xamien?”

Delara hesitates and I wonder what she’s thinking about. It’s obvious Xamien is really important to her. “Xamien has his own way of showing how he’s feeling. I suspect you know exactly what I’m referring too?”   

I do. Xamien had some interesting ways for a woman to forget her problems. It involved chocolate sauce and ropes. I was also sure he’d use the same tactic if he wanted his woman to know how disappointed he was with her. I notice Delara has this secret smile and I wonder if she is reading my thoughts. I’m forgetting that the Senses can easily read humans thoughts. “Type of underwear?”

Delara laughs. “Well, I will give you this, I love lace.”

“Least favorite word?”

“‘Try’ and if you’ve read FALL you know exactly why. And for those who have yet to read any of the books, well ‘try’ is a word you will see often coming from one particular Senses.”

“I loved Xamien’s horses. Did you get over your fear of them?”

She looks away and turns her mug slowly on the table. When she looks up again, I see tears glistening. “No. And yes. Xamien’s horses are trained with trust and respect. It is a bond between human and horse that is magical. Something natural and pure. Don’t think I’d trust just any horse.”

“Xadea following you and Xamien was pretty remarkable.” I quickly move on. “What enemy could you like?”

“A GQ helped us once. A good guy.”

“GQs. Can you expand on that for those that haven’t read the books?”

“Yeah, One of the Center World Other species. Best we can guess, they descend from certain bugs from the center of the earth. When they reach the surface they steal the bodies of dead people, and then become a real pain in the ass. GQs are the hardest to kill and we think they descend from the cockroach. Only way to kill them is decapitation.

“What did you think of Xamien when you first saw him?”

Delara laughs. “Well, the very first time I can’t remember, but the second time…hmmm. How do I say this? Xamien is sexy as hell and he knows it.” She tucks a few stray strands behind her ear. “There is no pretense with Xamien. He is Alpha all the way, like most Senses, but he has the power behind him to pull it off without a hitch. I swear when I saw him my body tingled from head to toe. He does that to a woman. But the worst part is Xamien knows he does and, at times, he uses it to his advantage.” She smiles. “He has an amazing heart though. Once you get past the bullshit, he’d do anything for those he cares about.”

“And he does care about you.”

She remains quiet. I can tell she is beginning to get uncomfortable by how her hand is rubbing her thigh again. Okay, end it now before her Senses man comes barging down my door. “Thank you Delara, for taking the time to talk with me and the readers. You are one lucky woman to have two hot dominant men after your heart.”

“Lucky? No, I’d never consider my situation lucky. Tragic. I care about both men a great deal…I love them both in very different ways. Hurting either of them is very painful.”

“Yes, I can imagine. I was torn between them. They both are…well, magnetic men shall we say.”

Delara hints at a smile. “Thank you Flame for having me. Cindy asked that I say thank you from her as well. I will be meeting her later to discuss some…issues regarding the next novel.”

“Care to share?” I cross my fingers.

Delara stands. “I wish I could, but the story is still in the writing process. Cindy may not be Senses, but she uses the backspace button—a lot.”

I stand and Delara reaches out to shakes my hand then walks to the door.

“Oh one more thing. It’s been a few months now, did you make the right choice, Delara?”

Delara looks over her shoulder and smiles. “He defines me.”


a Rafflecopter giveaway



So yep, that's about it for today! Thanks for visiting! :)

Blog Tour: Crescent by Homer Hickam



Hey guys! Sorry for the late post, and for the lack of a review! Life has been quite crazy recently so yeah. My apologies! This is Crescent, by Homer Hickam, Book 2 in the Helium-3 series. It is published by Thomas Nelson.




Crescent


They said she wasn’t human. They were wrong.
A seemingly endless war against the insurgent Crowhoppers keeps the people of Moontown fighting when they’d rather be mining valuable Helium-3. Crater Trueblood’s valiant efforts against the genetically-manipulated beings weighs heavily on his mind. What is he really fighting for?
In the midst of a deadly battle, Crater captures an enemy Crowhopper. But this one he refuses to kill. “It” is genetically more human than not and its gender seems to be female. She calls herself Crescent.
Crater takes her to Moontown as a prisoner of war, but treats her kindly. However, at the hands of Moontown residents Crescent experiences prejudice and even cruelty.
Soon Crescent is imprisoned for a murder she didn’t commit. Crater comes to her aid, and the two become fugitives, escaping into the vast expanse of hostile terrain called “the big suck.” For Crater, it turns out the cause most worth fighting for may be right by his side.

Check it out at Amazon | Goodreads




Homer Hickam


Homer Hickam is the author of many best-selling books with his best known the acclaimed memoir Rocket Boys: A Memoir which was made into the award-winning film October Sky where he was portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal.
Born and raised in the small mining town of Coalwood, West Virginia, Homer is a graduate of Virginia Tech, a Vietnam veteran, a scuba instructor, a paleontologist, and a former NASA engineer. He has won many literary awards including the Clarence Cason Journalism Award from the University of Alabama and an honorary doctorate in Literature from Marshall University.

Homer and his wife Linda and their five cats share their time between homes in Huntsville, Alabama and St. John of the U.S. Virgin Islands.



So yep, that's about it for today! Go here to check out the other tour stops! You'll find loads of awesome stuff on the other tour sites too! :D

Book Blast: The Perfect Duke by Dawn Ireland


Hey there! Welcome to today's book blast! Today's book is by Dawn Ireland, The Perfect Duke, a historical romance. I truly enjoyed this book and it made for a fast-paced and interesting story. The characters were enjoyable and the storyline never failed to impress. So, my review isn't done yet, so I'll post it up sometime soon instead! Sorry for the last post by the way! 



The Perfect Duke


Known as The Marble Duke amongst the Ton, Garret Weston, the Duke of Kendal sets himself apart from his peers. Nothing will hinder his guilt-driven attempt to become a perfect duke. Nothing that is, save the alluring and imaginative betrothed he’d thought dead. His intended believes-of all things-that she is a Vicar’s daughter. The “perfect” duke needs a “perfect” duchess, but how was he to discern her suitability? Employing her as a governess to his niece seemed like an ideal solution. But whose “suitability” is being tested? His betrothed refuses to see he is beyond redemption. And most grievous of all, she stirs his blood, making him forget what’s important.

Cara believes fairy tales really can come true, until she meets the unrelenting and arrogant Duke of Kendal. He looks like a Prince, but acts like a Beast. Why must he challenge her at every turn? Her greatest peril is her attraction to the vulnerable, seductive man behind the title. A match between them would be impossible. But can she show him, without losing her heart, that “perfect” is in the eye of the beholder?


Check it out at Amazon!



Dawn Ireland


“Once Upon a Time” are four of Dawn’s favorite words. Her love of story became a love of romance when she read Georgette Heyer’s, Devil’s Cub. It inspired her to write stories with strong characters that discover love is never easy, but always worthwhile. Dawn’s written several award-winning novels set in Georgian England – an era filled with rules and intrigue. Her characters often defy “Society” as they pursue love, run away, pursue, run away – well, you get the idea.

Then again, she might write romance in order to do the research. What other profession encourages you to sit in the audience at Harlequin’s Male Model search, and take notes, or just sigh?

Dawn lives in a Victorian home in Upstate New York with her husband and very independent cats. When she’s not writing, she’s singing, gardening, learning to play the harp or wood carving. If you’d like to learn more about Dawn and her novels, go to her website at www.dawn-ireland.com.




Time for a short excerpt!

Garret’s voice stopped Cara before she reached the door. “What of the cut on my chest?”

She turned back, fighting to sound normal. “It didn’t look that bad.”

He picked up the cloth, soaped it, then stalked toward her. Everything about him belied fluid grace as he handed her the fabric, a challenge in his gaze.

With as much indifference as she could muster, she dabbed at the cut on his chest.

“Harder,” he breathed, his dark velvet voice sending shivers down her spine. “You’ll not hurt me.”

She cleansed the cut, admiring the feel of the hard muscle beneath the cloth. Her fingertips extended beyond the material to caress his moisture-slicked skin. She stepped closer, until his chest was the only thing in her vision.

The rag dropped between them. Of their own volition her fingers spread, pressing her hands flat against the hard contours of his body. She began an exploration, noting the fine dusting of curling golden hair that tickled her palms as she moved them upward.

The smell of the ointment clung to him, but it couldn’t block his alluring scent, a mixture of brandy, wood, and spiciness. She inhaled deeply, savoring the heady combination as she ran one fingertip around his nipple, marveling at the pebbling on the outside edge.

Part of her brain acknowledged she shouldn’t be doing this, but she couldn’t seem to stop.




So yep, that's about it for today! Go here to check out the other tour stops! You'll find loads of awesome stuff on the other tour sites too! :D

Blog Tour: Project Five Fifteen by Samantha Summers - Review


Hey guys! Welcome to today's blog tour! Project Five Fifteen is a series by Samantha Summers. The first book is First Light, and it sequel is As You Were. Both books are YA Romantic Thrillers. First Light was published on 12 May 2012, and As You Were published on 14 December 2013.




First Light


A government experiment. Sixteen teenage boys on the run. An innocent young girl caught in the middle. When Ronnie Rose meets the handsome and alluring Kalen Smith, she can tell there's something he's hiding - something dangerous. But in trying to uncover his secret, Ronnie is plunged into a terrifying world she isn't prepared for... and the consequences could be deadly. Can we choose who we fall in love with?

Check it out at Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads





As You Were


For every choice, there is a consequence.

Ronnie and Kalen are finally together, living their life in secret under the radar of the people who want Kalen dead. But when a visit from an old friend sends Kalen away on a rescue mission, Ronnie finds herself plunged back into the world of Project Five Fifteen quicker than she ever thought possible.

It’s fast becoming clear The Agency will never give up their hunt for the boys, and a betrayal closer to home starts a chain reaction that will change everything. Now, caught in a deadly web of lies and deceit, Ronnie is forced to question who she can trust; even the person she once trusted most.

As enemies close in, Kalen’s past threatens to destroy the happiness they sacrificed so much for, and it’s only a matter of time before the ultimate choice must be made.


Check it out at Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads




Samantha Summers


Born in London, an only child with an overactive imagination, Sam spent much of her childhood telling ghost stories to her younger cousins and dreaming about far away places. She graduated university with a BA in marketing, but it wasn't long before her passion for storytelling and travel got the better of her. She currently lives in Sydney, Australia, where you'll probably find her hidden away in the corner of a park somewhere - writing, reading, dreaming or watching movies on her iPad. She loves everything spy and assassin and has a slightly unhealthy obsession with Star Wars, mainly Darth Vader.




And now, check out my review of First Light.

My Rating

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

My Review

I rather enjoyed First Light. It was a relatively sweet YA romance with just a little bit of action packed in. The characters were rather interesting and real, and the pace of the book of the good. While I didn’t feel that the storyline was to die for, it was a pretty good introduction to this series.

Veronica, or Ronnie, as she likes to be called, is an independent girl. Yet, there’s just something about her that is vulnerable. From the start, I liked Ronnie. She was a rather witty character, and while not the most interesting of characters, she was real and I could relate to her. While there are parts of her I didn’t really like, generally she was a good female protagonist. Her character development was rather good and I could see her maturing as the book progressed.

Kalen on the other hand, was amazing. Mysterious, hot, dangerous. How could a girl not be instantly drawn to him? But I think what’s best was how he loved Ronnie. From everything he did, it just showed he cared. And that just made me smile. Because it showed even someone so strong can fall prey to the mighty power of love.

The side characters were also rather nice to read about. I liked that there weren’t too many characters to keep up with and that they weren’t neglected as the story progressed. We did see some bits of their character development and I look forward to reading much more about the boys. And for some reason, Laith. I just want to know more about him, there’s just something interesting about him.

One thing I would have liked was to see more of Kalen's past. Those teasers simply aren't enough! He is such an interesting character to read about, someone so mysterious that I simply want to learn more about him. You know, just try and figure him out.

I did enjoy the ending. I am curious as to how Ronnie and Kalen’s relationship will progress, especially now that she has realized how much she loves him. And her decision at the end is just going to make for a more interesting story in the second book, As You Were. This is a relatively easy read and a rather enjoyable one too.






Enter the giveaway here! There will be 2 winners, with each winner getting a signed copy of both books and a T-Shirt.


a Rafflecopter giveaway


So yep, that's about it for today! Go here to check out the other tour stops! You'll find loads of awesome stuff on the other tour sites too! :D

Zzz...

Whew, I've finally reached the Z post! Never thought I would see this day! I mean, I wanted to give up halfway through when everything was just so hectic! Glad I didn't though! And while I wasn't the most punctual of posters, at least I wrote a post for every letter! Hope that makes up for something haha.

And finally, at the end of this challenge, it is time to sleep. Sleep is something that every student in Singapore craves but few get enough of it. Trust me, when you're 16 and above in Singapore, sleep is going to get sacrificed. To hear the words, sleep is so relaxing. To realise you can actually sleep is one of the best things you can think of.

But even other than that, sleep is just so important, is it not? There's just something about sleeping that just puts everyone on the same level. Because in our sleep, we're all vulnerable, are we not? I love books with dangerous characters, but somehow, when they sleep they just suddenly look so much more innocent, less world-weary and more human.

Sleep is amazing. Honestly. I love sleeping. Call me lazy, but yeah. Sleeping does miracles. It soothes hurt, it gives you beautiful dreams, makes you face your worst fears, and it heals your body. I love sleeping.

And with that, its off to bed for me. I have completed this challenge. Somehow. Zzz... It's time to sleep:)

You

This is something I wrote recently. This is for you.


I think I could get over you if I wanted. Or at least, if things didn’t work out. Maybe in a few years I would be able to let you go. Yet, I don’t know if I could ever trust again. Sure, I could probably get attracted to someone else, maybe even start falling for someone. But I don’t think I would be able to let the person get so close the way I’ve let you get so close to me. I don’t even want to imagine someone holding me, telling me they love me. I think sometimes I ask myself how strong are my feelings are for you if I can still think other guys are good-looking. No, I’m not attracted to them. But I have to admit that they have good looks. Of course, it doesn’t do the same thing to my heart the way your looks does to mine. And no other guy could ever make me smile as much as you make me do. Of course, maybe they can make me laugh. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy. You make me happy, in ways I never thought could be happy in. I didn’t even know it was possible to be that happy until you.

And that’s why I don’t want to lose you. Because I equate losing you with losing happiness. Because honestly, how would I smile, knowing that you aren’t there? How could I laugh, knowing that I can’t tell you about it when I saw you next? And how could I cheer up after I screwed something up, knowing you aren’t there to comfort me? Because I think if I lose you, those walls around my heart are going to be so strong that I doubt anyone will want to try and break in. And you didn’t even have to try. From the start, my heart trusted you enough. I thought you were the one who took down my walls. But I think from the start, my heart knew. My heart didn’t even try to build up the walls and make myself strong. Instead, it helped you to take them down, and even speeding up the process. 

I’ve never been so vulnerable to another person before. You could crush me I think. It wouldn’t take much. My heart knows that. But yet, my heart and my brain know enough to trust you to never do that. That even if you’re angry, your first thought is still going to be me. Somehow, I don’t doubt your feelings at all, and that amazes me every time I think of it. Maybe part of the reason why I don’t doubt yours, is because I’m having equally strong feelings for you. I wouldn’t want you to ever get hurt. I want to be there to protect you, to keep you safe, happy and satisfied. If I could take your sadness, I would, if only for the sake to make you happy. 

I think I’m finally beginning to stop doubting my own feelings and the intensity of it. Because what else could describe what I feel about you? Its not just one thing that I love about you. Its everything that makes who you are, that is the reason for me loving you. I wouldn’t want you to be different in any way. Because I’ve seen your bad side, even though it doesn’t really seem bad to me. And to be honest, I don’t think its bad at all. I mean, its you. But in any case, in spite of your flaws, I still love you. And I think that’s what love is about. Its not about loving the good, because who couldn’t? Its about seeing the flaws, and loving them because they make up who he is. Its about loving the little things, the things done unconsciously, the things that just make him him. That’s what I think love is about. I questioned whether what I felt was just infatuation. Until I realise, it wasn’t just loving you and being loved that was what made me say I love you. It truly is about loving you. I love you for you. Not for what you do, not for what you are around other people, not for your position, not for anything. I just love you. The person. It truly is indescribable. Wow. That was a revelation while writing. I truly do love you. I always say it, but its now that I truly understand how much I mean it. It’s everything about you. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, I still love you. You could be the poorest beggar on this world, the most unwanted person, or the worst as the world determines you to be, and I would still love you. Corny, cheesy and mushy to be sure. But its true. Because I believe that even if you became all those things, who you are isn’t going to change. You’re still going to be that adorable, cute, charming boy that I love. You’re still going to make the same hand gestures, speak the same way, walk the same way, question things the same way. You’re still going to be you. And as long as you’re you, I will love you. That’s it, isn’t it? Pure and simple. Loving you for who you are. That is love. 

And yes, this is very late. The challenge is more or less over, but I wanted to finish this at least! :)

X marks the spot

X is a crazy difficult letter to write about. Honestly, the only word that comes into my mind when I see the letter X is xylophone. I don't even know why.

When I see the phrase, X marks the spot, I think of treasure. When I was a kid, I used to think of treasure as a chest that was spilling with gold necklaces and gold and just shiny things like that. But now, if I were to ever open a treasure chest, I would love to see it filled with old books. Old papers, old parchments, things that just tell a story.

Treasure is different for everyone. What is your treasure?

And I'm sorry for the late and sucky post. I just can't really think. Kinda sick right now:(

Water

This is very long overdue. But I really want to write this!

I love water. The sound of the waves breaking on the shore, the sound of the rain pattering against my windows. That is what comforts me. For as long as I can remember, I have loved water. Water is something I truly love. I can sit at the beach in the sea for a very long time alone, but yet not feel lonely. Its my favorite place to be honestly. Just so nice to sit down there and just listen and feel.

I remember last year, I was overseas with my family and friends. I got separated from the group because I was reading. On my way to look for them, I came across this beautiful fountain. I think I spent a good 15 minutes there just enjoying the presence of water and being in something so majestic. I would have stayed longer, but I figured I shouldn't worry the group I was with!

Do you like water? :)

Visualizing

I realised I'm a whole day behind with all my posts, oh no. This post is for V! I'll be writing my W post next!

So, visualizing. Do you find it difficult to visualize? If you ask me to think of a specific thing and just picture how it should look like, I couldn't do it. The image would never take form in my head, or at least, not the image that should be in there. I know, I'm horrible in it.

But yet, when it comes to books for some reason I can visualize the whole scene in my head. Which is weird because I normally can't visualize. Which is why I love it when an author gives me a good description of a scene but not overly done, showing instead of telling. That's the kind of scenes I like the most.

Haha fell asleep before I could post this. I still have a W post to write! Then I have to prepare for the X post!

Understanding

I know this post is late. But, I feel like being sad today. Don't ask, typical teenager hormones that get so annoying. But yeah, I wanted to write a bit. A little bit of what I would typically write about when I'm sad. Hmm. First time ever posting something like that for so many to see.

But could you understand? Could you know this pain inside of me? Feel the way I do? When all I want is to just break down and cry, to just give up or give in. How do I choose, how? You say you understand, but you don't, not really. Because how could anyone really understand? No one experiences pain the same way. But thank you for at least trying.

The one thing I do know though, is that only God truly understands. And that in itself, is the best thing I could ask for right now. Because even when I turn away, He understands. He understands the pain. The question is, why don't I trust? 

I know this is a very typical cry of teenagers. But sometimes, I wish people did understand and left me alone. Because some things, I have to go through alone. And of course, it sucks that the person who understands the most, just cannot be there in the way that I truly need.

I am so sorry, I just needed to write. Not addressed to anyone in particular though! 

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...