Zzz...

Whew, I've finally reached the Z post! Never thought I would see this day! I mean, I wanted to give up halfway through when everything was just so hectic! Glad I didn't though! And while I wasn't the most punctual of posters, at least I wrote a post for every letter! Hope that makes up for something haha.

And finally, at the end of this challenge, it is time to sleep. Sleep is something that every student in Singapore craves but few get enough of it. Trust me, when you're 16 and above in Singapore, sleep is going to get sacrificed. To hear the words, sleep is so relaxing. To realise you can actually sleep is one of the best things you can think of.

But even other than that, sleep is just so important, is it not? There's just something about sleeping that just puts everyone on the same level. Because in our sleep, we're all vulnerable, are we not? I love books with dangerous characters, but somehow, when they sleep they just suddenly look so much more innocent, less world-weary and more human.

Sleep is amazing. Honestly. I love sleeping. Call me lazy, but yeah. Sleeping does miracles. It soothes hurt, it gives you beautiful dreams, makes you face your worst fears, and it heals your body. I love sleeping.

And with that, its off to bed for me. I have completed this challenge. Somehow. Zzz... It's time to sleep:)

You

This is something I wrote recently. This is for you.

I think I could get over you if I wanted. Or at least, if things didn’t work out. Maybe in a few years I would be able to let you go. Yet, I don’t know if I could ever trust again. Sure, I could probably get attracted to someone else, maybe even start falling for someone. But I don’t think I would be able to let the person get so close the way I’ve let you get so close to me. I don’t even want to imagine someone holding me, telling me they love me. I think sometimes I ask myself how strong are my feelings are for you if I can still think other guys are good-looking. No, I’m not attracted to them. But I have to admit that they have good looks. Of course, it doesn’t do the same thing to my heart the way your looks does to mine. And no other guy could ever make me smile as much as you make me do. Of course, maybe they can make me laugh. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy. You make me happy, in ways I never thought could be happy in. I didn’t even know it was possible to be that happy until you.

And that’s why I don’t want to lose you. Because I equate losing you with losing happiness. Because honestly, how would I smile, knowing that you aren’t there? How could I laugh, knowing that I can’t tell you about it when I saw you next? And how could I cheer up after I screwed something up, knowing you aren’t there to comfort me? Because I think if I lose you, those walls around my heart are going to be so strong that I doubt anyone will want to try and break in. And you didn’t even have to try. From the start, my heart trusted you enough. I thought you were the one who took down my walls. But I think from the start, my heart knew. My heart didn’t even try to build up the walls and make myself strong. Instead, it helped you to take them down, and even speeding up the process. 

I’ve never been so vulnerable to another person before. You could crush me I think. It wouldn’t take much. My heart knows that. But yet, my heart and my brain know enough to trust you to never do that. That even if you’re angry, your first thought is still going to be me. Somehow, I don’t doubt your feelings at all, and that amazes me every time I think of it. Maybe part of the reason why I don’t doubt yours, is because I’m having equally strong feelings for you. I wouldn’t want you to ever get hurt. I want to be there to protect you, to keep you safe, happy and satisfied. If I could take your sadness, I would, if only for the sake to make you happy. 

I think I’m finally beginning to stop doubting my own feelings and the intensity of it. Because what else could describe what I feel about you? Its not just one thing that I love about you. Its everything that makes who you are, that is the reason for me loving you. I wouldn’t want you to be different in any way. Because I’ve seen your bad side, even though it doesn’t really seem bad to me. And to be honest, I don’t think its bad at all. I mean, its you. But in any case, in spite of your flaws, I still love you. And I think that’s what love is about. Its not about loving the good, because who couldn’t? Its about seeing the flaws, and loving them because they make up who he is. Its about loving the little things, the things done unconsciously, the things that just make him him. That’s what I think love is about. I questioned whether what I felt was just infatuation. Until I realise, it wasn’t just loving you and being loved that was what made me say I love you. It truly is about loving you. I love you for you. Not for what you do, not for what you are around other people, not for your position, not for anything. I just love you. The person. It truly is indescribable. Wow. That was a revelation while writing. I truly do love you. I always say it, but its now that I truly understand how much I mean it. It’s everything about you. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, I still love you. You could be the poorest beggar on this world, the most unwanted person, or the worst as the world determines you to be, and I would still love you. Corny, cheesy and mushy to be sure. But its true. Because I believe that even if you became all those things, who you are isn’t going to change. You’re still going to be that adorable, cute, charming boy that I love. You’re still going to make the same hand gestures, speak the same way, walk the same way, question things the same way. You’re still going to be you. And as long as you’re you, I will love you. That’s it, isn’t it? Pure and simple. Loving you for who you are. That is love. 

And yes, this is very late. The challenge is more or less over, but I wanted to finish this at least! :)

X marks the spot

X is a crazy difficult letter to write about. Honestly, the only word that comes into my mind when I see the letter X is xylophone. I don't even know why.

When I see the phrase, X marks the spot, I think of treasure. When I was a kid, I used to think of treasure as a chest that was spilling with gold necklaces and gold and just shiny things like that. But now, if I were to ever open a treasure chest, I would love to see it filled with old books. Old papers, old parchments, things that just tell a story.

Treasure is different for everyone. What is your treasure?

And I'm sorry for the late and sucky post. I just can't really think. Kinda sick right now:(

Water

This is very long overdue. But I really want to write this!

I love water. The sound of the waves breaking on the shore, the sound of the rain pattering against my windows. That is what comforts me. For as long as I can remember, I have loved water. Water is something I truly love. I can sit at the beach in the sea for a very long time alone, but yet not feel lonely. Its my favorite place to be honestly. Just so nice to sit down there and just listen and feel.

I remember last year, I was overseas with my family and friends. I got separated from the group because I was reading. On my way to look for them, I came across this beautiful fountain. I think I spent a good 15 minutes there just enjoying the presence of water and being in something so majestic. I would have stayed longer, but I figured I shouldn't worry the group I was with!

Do you like water? :)

Visualizing

I realised I'm a whole day behind with all my posts, oh no. This post is for V! I'll be writing my W post next!

So, visualizing. Do you find it difficult to visualize? If you ask me to think of a specific thing and just picture how it should look like, I couldn't do it. The image would never take form in my head, or at least, not the image that should be in there. I know, I'm horrible in it.

But yet, when it comes to books for some reason I can visualize the whole scene in my head. Which is weird because I normally can't visualize. Which is why I love it when an author gives me a good description of a scene but not overly done, showing instead of telling. That's the kind of scenes I like the most.

Haha fell asleep before I could post this. I still have a W post to write! Then I have to prepare for the X post!

Understanding

I know this post is late. But, I feel like being sad today. Don't ask, typical teenager hormones that get so annoying. But yeah, I wanted to write a bit. A little bit of what I would typically write about when I'm sad. Hmm. First time ever posting something like that for so many to see.

But could you understand? Could you know this pain inside of me? Feel the way I do? When all I want is to just break down and cry, to just give up or give in. How do I choose, how? You say you understand, but you don't, not really. Because how could anyone really understand? No one experiences pain the same way. But thank you for at least trying.

The one thing I do know though, is that only God truly understands. And that in itself, is the best thing I could ask for right now. Because even when I turn away, He understands. He understands the pain. The question is, why don't I trust? 

I know this is a very typical cry of teenagers. But sometimes, I wish people did understand and left me alone. Because some things, I have to go through alone. And of course, it sucks that the person who understands the most, just cannot be there in the way that I truly need.

I am so sorry, I just needed to write. Not addressed to anyone in particular though! 

Time Travel

I used to love time travel books. I loved the whole idea of going back and forth in time and doing something that would change the future. But slowly, as I grew up, as I read more, I started to stop loving it. While I still found the whole idea behind it cool, I just stopped loving it.

In real life, we always say, if only I could turn back time. Or we want to go forward in time. Yet, we can't do that. We have to live and just experience it all. So perhaps it is time to live life in the here and now and not focus on other things. What's most important to me though, is to live life without regrets!

I have no idea why I wrote the second paragraph haha. But in any case, as I was saying, I used to enjoy books with time travel, but maybe it's just me, but I don't really read time travel books that I enjoy that much. Any recommendations?

Science Fiction

I love science fiction books. Yeah, call me a nerd haha but truly, they're amazing. Science can be so amazing and it just makes the book seem so much better with all that technology.

Out of science fiction, one of my favorites will always be space travel. Since young, I've been fascinated by it. There's just something about discovering new worlds that I simply adore.

And recently, I've discovered a new part of science fiction I love. Eugenics. Which is essentially the creation of super humans by manipulating their DNA. What's funny is, I'm learning it in school now, but it's just so much better when it put into books. I think I first loved it when I read the Double Helix series by Jade Kerrion. There were mutants and things like that in there too! It's like, one of the coolest parts of bio! It's just so interesting to think about I feel:)

So yep, that's it for now. Sorry for the late post, fell asleep last night before I could post!

Romance

Romance. Why do I love romance so much? How did I even get started on it? All I know is that one day I decided to pick up a romance novel, a couple of stories by Iris Johansen. I was immediately addicted. I realised that was what I was looking for in a book. It had angst, a good hero and heroine, and just about what I really wanted to read! That was how it all started.

Along the way, I discovered historical romances. The first I ever read was The Magic of You by Johanna Lindsey I believe. It was simply put, amazing. It was what got me started on historical romances. It was just so, so beautiful that I could not put it down.

But as to why I love romance so much. I was thinking about it last time and I came up with a few reasons. Firstly, romance novels help me to believe that true love really does exist. I know these books are just fiction. But they made me start to realise that there had to be something that was true love if people could actually write about it.

It also gave me hope. In a world that is becoming increasingly corrupt, where more and more crimes are committed that just baffles us, romance novels just make me believe that love can still exist. And because of this love, we aren't all goners yet. That there is just that little bit of hope, that bit of brightness left in this world.

Romance novels made me believe that love could conquer all. Seeing the characters going through so much, but yet staying together, made me feel that if one truly loved your significant other, anything could happen. It may just be fiction, but I think they truly gave me hope.

At first, I was always shy of admitting I love romance novels. People automatically associate these kind of readers as empty-headed, idealistic people. Well, maybe. But now, I'm not afraid to say I love romance. Sure, romance isn't a genre for everyone. But to me, its still the best genre created.

After picking up romance, I simply cannot read a book without any form of romance in it at all. I find it difficult to read. Yes, some books can pull it off. But these books are far and few in between.

Do you like romance novels? Whoa this was a pretty long post.

Quiet... I'm reading!

Oops late post again! Slipped my mind, sorry!

For all those book lovers out there, how do you feel when you're interrupted from your book? For me, I get so so annoyed when someone interrupts me from reading. I require loads of self control to not snap at that person to be honest. Generally, I'll just try to ignore the person until they go away and leave me in peace to read.

But why do I need silence, for others to be quiet when I read? Maybe it's because when I'm reading, I'm off in another world, where for once, I can pretend that the worries of my life don't exist and I can just live that amazing life through the eyes of the characters. But the moment someone disturbs me, I'm shaken rudely out of that world. And once again, I have to remember all the things that I was trying to escape from through reading.

Do you get annoyed when people disturb you when you read? Or when you're doing things that you enjoy? Are you like me, and you need that peace and quiet to read? What do you do in that event? :)

Alright, on to my R post now! :)

Paranormal

Paranormal stories. They are stories that exist in our world, yet with a twist. Suddenly, the shadows come to life, suddenly what we are told is impossible, comes to life, right in the world we live in. Vampires, werewolves, these are just a couple of examples of paranormal books.

To be honest, I'm kinda sick of paranormal books with vampires in them. I just feel its so overrated. Some books are fine, but I'm extremely picky about vampire books. I just can't stand the whole blood sucking thing. I don't know, but it just isn't sexy to me.

My favorite paranormal series is without a doubt the Dark Hunter series by Sherilyn Kenyon. It really is very good and I love reading about her characters. The heroes. Oh. My. Gosh. They are too sexy for their own good. And one of my favorite heroes from all time? Acheron. From the Dark Hunter series. I swear I'm in love with him. Too damn freaking amazing for words to describe.

One branch of paranormal books I cannot stand either. Historical paranormal books. I just can't. I mean, I love historical books. And most paranormal books that I read? I love them too! But put them together, its just a huge no no. Historical romances are just about the most beautiful romances to me, in the whole romance world. There's just that little spark, that little magic to that era that truly makes you feel transported into another world. But add in paranormal books, and I feel it just takes away that magic.

Oh, I don't really like shifter books either? I don't know, but I guess its the whole not liking animals thing, that just turns me off those books!

Generally speaking though, I do enjoy most paranormal books. I mean, apart from the whole overused story plots, I must say that paranormal characters are generally hotter. Yes, yes. I know I'm shallow, but oh well! And because of this hotness, it makes the books just that much nicer to read! And I guess that whole being able to do things that normal humans can't do is pretty damn sexy too.

Do you like paranormal books?

Open

So yep, this post is late again. So sorry. I'm gonna write the P post right after this yeah!

O. This letter isn't easy to write about. I honestly have no clue what to write about. Actually, I'm just typing random words now, hoping for some inspiration to strike. Ok, let's get down to this.

Reading a book is like opening a door into a new world. When you throw open a door, at first you don't know what's going on. But slowly, things begin to register in your mind. You slowly start to see the entire room. And when you do, its so beautiful. Its similar to a book. When you open the book to the very first page, you have no idea what's going on. But slowly as you read more, as you immerse yourself into this new world, its such an amazing escape from reality. The reason I read is because of this escape. And that for a while, the world seems perfect. Problems seem like they can be solved and it tells me that true love can conquer all. Opening this door is sometimes a scary process too. Sometimes, my expectations are too high. I'm afraid that I'll get disappointed when I read. But I'm thankful that has hardly ever stopped me. If not, I might just have not discovered some of the most amazing books, stories and worlds out there.

And every time I think of this word, I think about the doors that God has opened in my life. In so many ways, He has blessed me. He has opened so many windows of opportunities for me. Every time I think about this, I feel blessed. Because it just shows me His love for me.

So yep, that's it for this O post. Thanks for visiting!

Names

Oops so this post is a day late. Sorry! Slipped my mind! Anyway, names. I think names in books are very important. It subconsciously determines whether I enjoy the book or not. Especially the hero's name. If it's a horrible name, I will just find myself unable to enjoy the book. In certain ways, it determines whether I can relate to the character.

Once, I recall reading a book with the hero named Peyton. I couldn't enjoy the book. Because every time I saw his name, I burst out in laughter. Quite horrible of me, I know but this is just one of my pet peeves.

What about you? Do you have a peeve about names too?

Mountains

We all face our own form of mountains in our lives. Sure, they are difficult to get through, but the journey is always worth it. Some mountains seem so high and so hard to cross, but yet, we all have to face them in the end.

I've tried running away from my own mountains that I've faced in my life. Yes, it isn't a very long life, I mean, I'm only 18. But yet, through the process of running away and coming back to the very same mountain, is what has helped me to grow, especially with regards to my trust in God. As a girl raised in a Christian household, I have always been taught to trust in God. Of course, it was easier said than done. Yet, with all the mountains that seemed so big at that time, it truly helped me to trust in Him. Of course, these mountains must not seem very tall to many of you who have experienced much worse. But still, they are what have made me the person I am today.

Even if I had a choice, I wouldn't run away from these mountains. I would choose to face them bravely, face that unknown future with faith, hope and love. This year, I'm going to be facing some of the largest mountains I have ever faced, in terms of relationships, studies and more. I'm already going through a mountain that for the first time, I'm questioning if love is enough. Its a painful mountain, but I know it will teach me so much. This year, is my A levels. Here in Singapore, it means a lot. It basically determines what course you can take in university, and essentially is the start of my career. And for that reason, I won't be able to post as frequently! So yep, these are just 2 of the mountains I'm facing right now.

And every time I think of the word mountain, the song "Climb Every Mountain" from The Sound Of Music just starts playing in my mind. I love that song, it truly is very inspiring. By the way, The Sound Of Music is one of my favorite movies! Captain Von Trapp omggg. Such a sexy actor and character;) hahaha ok:)

Do you dread the mountains in your life? And if you do, press on and one day, you will cross that mountain! :)

Love

We all want to be loved. Who doesn't? To find that special someone that means the world to us, that we can just be ourselves around. I guess that's one reason why I read. It helps me to believe in love, that true love can really exist, even when in the past, I couldn't experience it for myself?

Love in books is very crucial to me. Especially if its romance. I'll talk more about why I love romance in my R post, but for now, let's just talk about why I need to feel the love between the characters! That love is what makes the book feel real to me. It helps to break that wall between the book and me, and make me experience the story, rather than just being told it. If I cannot feel the love between the characters, I will not be able to enjoy the book. In fact, I would get extremely bored reading it.

Love is just amazing. It strengthens you, comforts you, makes you want to be a better person. In so many ways, love truly overcomes every obstacle.

And to end off, this is one of my favorite passages from the Bible. I think it truly shows how love should be like. Love in its purest and simplest form, the way God loves us. That's the way I want to love others!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Keep Going On

It's easy to want to give up. It's normal, and something I experience everyday. Even in books, you see characters facing tremendous difficulties, heartbreaks, problems, and all they want to do is to give up. Yet, somehow, they never do. Somehow, they fight on, they survive. And it inspires me. I know its just fiction, and these characters don't even exist. Of course its easy to say not to give up, but its so so difficult. Yet, these are the characters that speak to me. I love reading about these strong-willed characters. They are willing to fight all the way for what they love and they simply never give up.

Keep going on even when its difficult. We all know that. But yet, somehow, its just so difficult. I mean, look at this post! It's already... A day late? And we're barely halfway into the challenge. I must admit, I have thought about pulling out of the challenge. But I told myself, 'I'm not giving up, I'm gonna do this!' And here I am, writing this post that is a day late. But this is how I'm just gonna keep going on, even in a small challenge like this.

But back to books! Going on when the going gets tough. Its just so amazing to read about these characters, even if they aren't real. Maybe its because of the faith that the characters show that just makes me want to have that same faith and just keep going on.

This year, I determined that it would be a year of change. I am going to keep on going. I'm not gonna give up, and it starts with this challenge! :)

Jealousy

So, I haven't done a post about books in a bit. So this will be about books! Jealousy in books, to be more exact.

I love jealousy in books. Yes, too much can be annoying and make you feel like the characters are overbearing. But I just somehow feel that with jealousy in the picture, you can really begin to see how the characters start to fall for each other. The first step is always that irrational jealousy. It's quite cute and funny when I see how characters try to deny that jealousy actually.

Maybe it's because I can identify with them. I mean, I face that sense of irrational jealousy all the time. I guess it's pretty normal, especially when you're growing up. It does get annoying though, when that jealousy starts to erode trust.

But in books, when there's jealousy, there's possessiveness. And I just feel it to be so sweet when a couple is possessive of each other. Not possessive in the sense of trying to control whatever the other party is doing, but rather possessive as in saying that "that person's mine. Stay away!" Yep that kinda thing haha.

Do you like jealousy in books? Why/why not?

Sorry for the late post by the way! Been falling asleep:(

Imagination

Our imagination is an amazing thing. Out of it comes the most amazing stories, the most beautiful dreams. I am so thankful for authors' imaginations. Without it, I wouldn't have the books that I love, without it, I would have not known the joys of reading. Of being immersed in another world, in another person's imagination. And that is beautiful.

I think having an imagination is one of the most amazing things ever. Everyone imagines something, even if its just a small dream. But imagination leads to dreams, dreams lead to hope, and hope carries us so far.

And when your dreams come true, when what you imagined takes flight, there is nothing that can be better. I like to think I have a rather good imagination. I won't say what I imagine about here, cos I honestly imagine too much. Sometimes, I'm too fanciful. But while I can imagine, I can't write it out in words. I will not even try and ruin the writing world. That is something I should not even attempt to break into. I've tried of course, but the words just don't flow in the way I want them to!

So yes, imagination. What do you think about it? Do you like it?

Heartbreak

Heartbreak. The most painful of all emotions, but one everyone will go through eventually. No one likes heartbreaks, but it makes us stronger, shapes us, and teaches us the most valuable of lessons.

I always used to wonder what heartbreak was like. I wondered whether would it be as painful as how it looked like in books, or in movies, or even perhaps from what others said. I thought it would be fine, that yes, it would be painful, but not that bad. I was wrong. So so wrong.

I didn't expect it to be this way. Words can't accurately capture pain, its just not possible. But it hurts, it truly does. Yet in every way, this makes me stronger. Even through all this, I know that God is there. And that helps to take away some of the pain. But not all. Just a little bit.

Sometimes, the pain just freezes you in your tracks. It steals your breath, as the memories flash back. Bittersweet. I never understood that until I experienced heartbreak. Every memory is so sweet, but yet, so painful, now that you know it will never be.

Then again, as painful as this is, I would go through tenfold of it, if it meant I could take away his pain. And while I know that this will fade sooner or later, in one way or another, that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. And I guess the most difficult part is smiling when all you want to do is to just cry.

Alright, a bit of an emo post here, but well, I was feeling emo. So sorry for the late post, I forgot:( Writing my I post now!

Gratitude

There are many things in life we have to be thankful for. But so many times, we miss that chance to be grateful, to say thank you. So today, I wanted to take this post to thank a few people.

First, of course, its God. Lord, thank You for never giving up, never letting go, even when I let go. Even when I doubted, You showed me Your undeniable reality. Thank You for that love that truly never fails.

Next, will be my family. I don't show them enough love, enough concern, enough gratitude. But everything they've done has made me who I am today. Blood is always thicker than water and I guess as much as sometimes I just want to run away from them, want to be free, I know that I couldn't live without them.

My friends. These are the people who didn't have to love me, who didn't even have to like me, but yet, somehow, they did. Never failed to support me, never failed to give me hope and push me on.

Lastly, but certainly not the least is you. This person is so special to my heart. He's the first guy I've loved, the first person that has shown me what love is. I never had a chance to say this, but I am beyond grateful for all the little things you do for me. Every thing just made me love you more. And yes, right now at least, we can't have anything. But I will not forget, I will hold on.

I know that this isn't anything about books, but well, I just don't really wanna talk about books right now haha. Sorry for the late post by the way! Completely slipped my mind! Time to write my H post now!